[efarmer]

Go for it PMS. Full hog, no holds barred, shop until you drop.
You might even get a bottle of Perrier to fill up your squirt
pistol and get a pluck on those bushy eyebrows.

[PenultimateManStanding]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('efarmer', 'g')et a pluck on those bushy eyebrows.

[PrairieMule]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('PenultimateManStanding', 'P')ensions, Social Security, etc., it's all gone or soon to be. So what do I do, should I max out credit and then default? I'm thinking, the end is nigh, so should I use credit cards to pay for gas and food? I don't have any equity to seize, I have a high FICO. Should I cash in the game now?

[kublikhan]

Mr. Nigerian,
How do people in your country avoid having their money and possessions stolen by thugs? How do they stay safe at night? I imagine the rich have an easier time of it then the poor.

[PrairieMule]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('kublikhan', 'M')r. Nigerian,
How do people in your country avoid having their money and possessions stolen by thugs? How do they stay safe at night? I imagine the rich have an easier time of it then the poor.

[PenultimateManStanding]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('PrairieMule', '
')For question Mista Likhan recieve a very nice set of office furniture reported stolen from da Nigerian Ministry of Commerce from daAsk a Nigerian's Groovy Grab Bag of Swag

[efarmer]

What you said PMS. Sometimes the Nigerian gives you
a bonus round of prime swag, other times you get a
rat fart trapped in a mason jar or a package of poison
ivy seeds. I think the swag supply is very thready and
depends on how many trucks have rolled over or who
forgot to lock a door when they left the shop for home.

It is the joy of winning swag and not the swag itself
that tickles my fritz anyhow. So take a cue Nigerian,
lie to us about our swag, give us the big stuff, you're
going to burn us on delivery anyhow. Start with my
buddy PMS, after all his name starts with Penul, and
that's just short a vowel or two from being punishment
or a sex organ.

efarmer

[PrairieMule]

Ask a Nigerian

Nigerian made Nike clones for everyone!


Swag is good! Being a mighty dignitary for Nigeria has certain perks, when the oil is $135 it is not uncommon to recieve NBA playoff tickets. My four sons went to the Celtics game last night. They really tried to blend in with the aid of some body paint. I think their disguses are most clever. That should be no surprise, they are keen observers of western behaviors. Here is photo from the email I recieved taken outside the Sheraton yesterday afternoon.

[PrairieMule]

Dear Nigerian,

As if I do not have enough to worry about, I understand Nibiru is real! What is Nibiru?

Allyson Parker
Olathe, Ks




Dear Allyson,

According to legend passed down through our tribes, the overlords of Nibiru decended upon Africa to mine us of our gold. As seen in the link below, many in Nigeria have debated such blasphemy.

http://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-69604.0.html

Still this Nigerian stands in with his mouth agape at the crafty story that has travelled. Yet L.Ron Hubbard still holds the record for the most bribes and con money collected.

Today the internet is flooded with much so called "proof".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MSuP8OhukPY

I remind you Westerners that if you stare at shag carpet long enough, it will move.


Also, I have recieved distressed communications regarding chemtrail fears. This Nigerian has a simple answer for you. It is not a elaborate conspiracy but rather old aircraft causing the trails. More specifically chemtrails are the byproducts of old Nigerian Air 707's with leaky engines. The Oil leaks, then burns on the hot jet exhaust into a perfect trail. Once again, this is Occam's Machete.

For her question Ms Parker will recieve a blessing of fertility from the possessed old Ijaw woman who talks to God on her cell phone from the Ask a Nigerian!'s Groovy Grab Bag of swag.

[efarmer]

"Police on Friday arrested the head of a federal agency charged with developing Nigeria's impoverished southern oil region after allegations that the man spent millions of dollars on a witch doctor in hopes vanquishing a rival."

Dear Nigerian,
This news bulletin would indicate the good doctor is freed up
for other business at this point. Does his mojo work on Neocons,
can you book him for events, and if so, would you see if he would
do a barter for a carcass of the famous American Sasquatch?

Tell the Nigerian agency head to write "Stimulus Refund" on
the check stubs next time and he will have no problems at all.

[PrairieMule]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('efarmer', '"')Police on Friday arrested the head of a federal agency charged with developing Nigeria's impoverished southern oil region after allegations that the man spent millions of dollars on a witch doctor in hopes vanquishing a rival."

Dear Nigerian,
This news bulletin would indicate the good doctor is freed up
for other business at this point. Does his mojo work on Neocons,
can you book him for events, and if so, would you see if he would
do a barter for a carcass of the famous American Sasquatch?

Tell the Nigerian agency head to write "Stimulus Refund" on
the check stubs next time and he will have no problems at all.

[efarmer]

Thanks a bunch Nigerian for the deluxe mask and all. I am a fan of
oxblood fashion accessories, and have the shoes and belt to match
already. Over the weekend I shaved, ate a package of tick tacks,
got a bundle of roses, and dropped 40 bucks on a cubic zirconia
and still didn't get lucky with Ms. Efarmer. I have a hunch the mask
ain't going to lead to a hunch either.

So if it don't lead to Efarmer fertility, I still figure it will be a
handy item to put on when the Jehovah's Witnesses or the
Mormons come around to knock us up. (I always liked that
Brit expression better than "ring the doorbell".)

Ooh eeh ooh ah ah, ting tang walla walla bing bang.
Efarmer

[Keith_McClary]

Dear Mr. Nigerian:

I have received this Business Proposal

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('', 'D')ear ,

I wish to contact you personally for a business transaction of GBP £30,000,000 (Thirty Million British Pounds Sterling) hopefully that you will respond positively to this offer.

I need a reliable, honest and capable person who will be able to handle this transaction hence I am contacting you, and I believe that you will never turn down my request. I am the Deputy Chairman and Executive Member, Halifax Bank of Scotland, United Kingdom.

With your sincere assistant and co-operation, we can finalise this transaction, and be rest assured that this deal is worth taking and highly profitable.

At this moment, I will not issue the details of this transaction until your positive response is granted.


For further correspondence regarding this business proposal, send your response to rongarry@yahoo.com.hk for more details or ring me on +447 04 578 4271 for further discussion on this.

Thanks for your attention.

Kind regards.

Sir Garrick Ronald
Deputy Chairman
Bank of Scotland Plc
HBOS Plc
Cell: +447 04 578 4271
Email: rongarry@yahoo.com.hk

[efarmer]

I don't pretend to speak for Mr. Nigerian, Keith. But when someone
does something really really well, it can actually get named for them.
The Scotch have already done this and it is called... Scotch. Is this
Scotch that these Scotsman are attempting to serve you?

No it is not, it is Nigerian these Scotsman are attempting to serve
you. If you want real Scotch, order it from Scotland, if you want
real Nigerian, wait until it is offered from the country of origin
so you know you are getting the real product, anything else is
just a slapped together plate of scam with a little Mugabe
seasoning sprinkled on it.

Ain't nothing like the real thing baby.

efarmer

[PrairieMule]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('efarmer', 'I') don't pretend to speak for Mr. Nigerian, Keith. But when someone
does something really really well, it can actually get named for them.
The Scotch have already done this and it is called... Scotch. Is this
Scotch that these Scotsman are attempting to serve you?

No it is not, it is Nigerian these Scotsman are attempting to serve
you. If you want real Scotch, order it from Scotland, if you want
real Nigerian, wait until it is offered from the country of origin
so you know you are getting the real product, anything else is
just a slapped together plate of scam with a little Mugabe
seasoning sprinkled on it.

Ain't nothing like the real thing baby.

efarmer

[searcher]

By Dr. William J.R. Alexander, Professor Emeritus of the Department of Civil and Biosystems Engineering at the University of Pretoria in South Africa and a former member of the United Nations Scientific and Technical Committee on Natural Disasters.
South African Scientist: 'Climate alarmist theory has collapsed' - Compares Climate Models to the Nigerian e-mail scams
Dr. Alexander’s Key Quote: “I have no more faith in global climate model (GCM) predictions than I have in all those emails from Nigeria advising me that I have won the Lotto, or those proposals from rich widows in Dubai who have just lost their husbands, or from the less frequent emails from my bank asking for details of my banking account. These GCMs are mathematical dinosaurs.”

Excerpt: These alarmist predictions have backfired. Environmental extremism, and now plain terrorism, is causing tremendous damage to the image of science. It is exacerbated by the failure of conscientious scientists to raise the alarm. Remaining silent is a deliberate decision for which they can be held accountable. […] Climate alarmist theory has collapsed. Where did they get it wrong? The answer is simple. They boarded the wrong vehicle (process models) and headed in the wrong direction (they ignored the road signs). To put it simply, their models replicate the complex atmospheric and oceanic processes and their interactions. For given input assumptions they produce a single set of outputs. The models are fundamentally incapable of detecting changes in these processes. This is why the IPCC has been in existence for 20 years. It has yet to produce statistically believable evidence of progressive climate changes in sub-continental Africa or elsewhere. The best that they can do is to produce model projections of unverifiable and therefore unchallengeable consequences. This is also why it has to resort to terrorist approaches based on mathematical models instead of an analysis of real world observations. It is intended to create media attention ahead of the Accra conference. The Royal Society adopted the same tactics ahead of the Nairobi conference two years ago. I have no more faith in global climate model (GCM) predictions than I have in all those emails from Nigeria advising me that I have won the Lotto, or those proposals from rich widows in Dubai who have just lost their husbands, or from the less frequent emails from my bank asking for details of my banking account. These GCMs are mathematical dinosaurs. Modern laptops are not only more efficient but they are more understandable. The public no longer have to rely on the edicts of the high priests with their questionable objectives and lack of real world knowledge and experiences. The model-based predictions of the inundation of parts of Cape Town and the Cape Peninsula by rising sea levels are an example.

http://co2sceptics.com/news.php?id=1724

[searcher]

By Dr. William J.R. Alexander, Professor Emeritus of the Department of Civil and Biosystems Engineering at the University of Pretoria in South Africa and a former member of the United Nations Scientific and Technical Committee on Natural Disasters.
South African Scientist: 'Climate alarmist theory has collapsed' - Compares Climate Models to the Nigerian e-mail scams
Dr. Alexander’s Key Quote: “I have no more faith in global climate model (GCM) predictions than I have in all those emails from Nigeria advising me that I have won the Lotto, or those proposals from rich widows in Dubai who have just lost their husbands, or from the less frequent emails from my bank asking for details of my banking account. These GCMs are mathematical dinosaurs.”

Excerpt: These alarmist predictions have backfired. Environmental extremism, and now plain terrorism, is causing tremendous damage to the image of science. It is exacerbated by the failure of conscientious scientists to raise the alarm. Remaining silent is a deliberate decision for which they can be held accountable. […] Climate alarmist theory has collapsed. Where did they get it wrong? The answer is simple. They boarded the wrong vehicle (process models) and headed in the wrong direction (they ignored the road signs). To put it simply, their models replicate the complex atmospheric and oceanic processes and their interactions. For given input assumptions they produce a single set of outputs. The models are fundamentally incapable of detecting changes in these processes. This is why the IPCC has been in existence for 20 years. It has yet to produce statistically believable evidence of progressive climate changes in sub-continental Africa or elsewhere. The best that they can do is to produce model projections of unverifiable and therefore unchallengeable consequences. This is also why it has to resort to terrorist approaches based on mathematical models instead of an analysis of real world observations. It is intended to create media attention ahead of the Accra conference. The Royal Society adopted the same tactics ahead of the Nairobi conference two years ago. I have no more faith in global climate model (GCM) predictions than I have in all those emails from Nigeria advising me that I have won the Lotto, or those proposals from rich widows in Dubai who have just lost their husbands, or from the less frequent emails from my bank asking for details of my banking account. These GCMs are mathematical dinosaurs. Modern laptops are not only more efficient but they are more understandable. The public no longer have to rely on the edicts of the high priests with their questionable objectives and lack of real world knowledge and experiences. The model-based predictions of the inundation of parts of Cape Town and the Cape Peninsula by rising sea levels are an example.

http://co2sceptics.com/news.php?id=1724

[PrairieMule]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('searcher', '
')South African Scientist: 'Climate alarmist theory has collapsed' - Compares Climate Models to the Nigerian e-mail scams

[PrairieMule]

My esteemed associate Ebay Okowo wanted me to inform you he is offering George Clooney's sports epic "Leatherheads" for a dollar. Please do your part to help the enviroment, otherwise 2000 copies of Leatherheads will be disposed into a Abuja landfill.

[PrairieMule]

Mr. Nigerian

When you're in Hollywood you believe it when people tell you how good you are. And that's the danger, you asume they can not be wrong. Everyone will tell you you're some kind of diplomatic genius, which you are not, and if you understand that, you win. I simply look good in a suit. That being said, when it comes to resolving the centuries of tribal warefare, the clothes have no emperor.

Next spring I am due for arrival in Kenya to film "Tears of Darkness", which address the complex issues of Nigeria. This is the extent of my role as goodwill ambasador to your country.

On a different subject, pirating my artistic property then pedding it on EBAY will result in a phone call from my attorney.


Simply George





Ojie you naughty little bastard! You are in such trouble, did you not learn that corresponding as famous actors is wicked! No more internet for you!