by kochevnik » Thu 24 May 2007, 23:54:43
$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Prince', 'F')irst off, I don't have minor irritations. I have 100s of things that morbidly and obsessively anger me. Here are just a few.
-People who use "your" as a substitute for the contraction "you're".
-Fat people on airplanes who take up the entire armrest when "your" stuck in the middle seat.
-Actually, pretty much all fat people piss me off.
-Anyone whose entire conversation revolves around their stupid fucking kids.
-Anyone who buys $4 Starbucks drinks 5 times a day, then bitches about filling up their overpriced SUV with gasoline.
-Single mothers who think they deserve a second chance in life.
-People who are obsessed with organic foods.
-People that can't pick up or properly discard of their trash in public venues.
-Any asshole who blares his iPod to max volume with shitty $3 headphones so that the entire world can hear his poor taste in music.
-People who say or write "you got some 'splainin to do". Fuck you. You got some dying to do.
-Any middle-class or well-off white guy who goes out of his way to dress and act black.
-Women with derivatives of male names such as "Kris", "Joey", "Michal", or "Toni".
-Women with two last names.
-Neurotic first-time parents who think their kid is God's gift to the world.
-People with crooked, discolored, missing, or otherwise significantly altered teeth.
-People with a lazy eye.
-People who don't wash their hands after leaving the restroom.
-People who can't spel propperly. In the day and age of real-time electronic word processing, there is simply no excuse for pour spelling or grammer. Typos happen and are understood. However, continually misrepresenting "teh" and "independant" 150 times in a 300-word essay is uncalled for.
-People who are chronically late.
-Women who are bad in bed.
-People who boast about their cooking skills, invite you over for dinner, then fix you a grotesque meal that I would be embarrassed to feed my dog.
-Speaking of food, Rachael Ray. Enough said.
-Any woman that expects you to buy her a drink at the bar.
-Any assholes (read: most religious nuts) that act like pompous, judgmental, arrogant pricks 6 days a week, then think they can wash away their behavior by going to church on Sunday. This is behavior is somewhat condoned. What really irks me is when these nutjobs push their agenda on me and then go out of their way to say I'm a bad person for not going to church every week.
-People who don't park evenly between the painted parking lines.
-People who talk extra loud on their cell phone in public so they can let the world know about their personal problems. Look lady, I don't care that your husband has cancer of the scrotum and that your daughter was raped by the family's pet kangaroo. Keep your conversations to yourself.
-People in line at the security checkpoints at the airport. I was behind some idiot a few weeks ago who "flies all the time", and yet forgot to take off his shoes, forgot to discard his lighter, forgot to get rid of his 20-oz bottle of water, and forgot to keep his personal lubrication jelly in a size less than 3.4 oz.
-Fat fucks on a diet who eat at McDonald's, order a Big Mac, large fries, apple pie, fudge sundae... oh, and add a *DIET* Coke for good measure. "Hey I'm on a diet after all."
Lighten up Francis.
(Stripes)