I want to title this thread 'why am I alive at this point in history', or something like that but I don't think it adequately conveys what I'm trying to express.
no, I don't think i'm jesus, what I'm trying to express is more of a feeling i've had all through my life of somehow being a 'witness' or something... undefinable. some purpose i'm not fully (or even partially) comprehending.
before I even start discussing what the topic is about, I need to relate my views/experience, and this is going to be a hell of a long post. I will meander accross points and still not be able to fully explain what I'm trying to get accross, so please bear with me.
I approached peak oil, from a somewhat unique perspective (from what I've read here of most others experiences with PO) so let me relate:
Peak Oil was not a earthshaking revelation for me as it has been for others, because i had already had my world shaken, by the concept of Omega Point/The Singularity.
in short, Omega Point is exponential growth in technology, which is predicted to go vertical somewhere around 2040, beyond which point we are unable to frame any sort of reference of what things will be like.
read this thread: http://www.peakoil.com/fortopic13199.html for a longer explanation if you don't know what i'm referring to.
omega point is not necessarily a beneficial (to humans) event, we have no concept of what it will be like so any predictions swiftly become ludicrous. even by itself it's a worrying concept. (please don't debate the merits of omega point in this thread, i don't want that to be the main focus, if you think it's b.s. post that opinion in the linked thread, for this discussion just accept that I accept the concept, and am relating it as part of my state of mind).
so, after finding out about omega point (OP), I had many of the same reactions people describe when talking about PO, worry depression etc, I didn't go through any denial, it did lead me to start doing increased research on world topics, leading me through 911 conspiracy etc till I found PO, which I pretty much instantly accepted, since I had already gone through many of the same thoughts that naturally arise already though it was a somewhat different experience to me.
PO is of course pretty much all negative in its aspects, so despite OP not being a necessarily positive event, by virtue of not definetly being negative it has become in my mind, weighted against PO, a race to see which comes first, with OP becoming the 'finish line'. when I found out about PO I immediately started thinking in terms of 'hmm, so whats going to happen first then'
since OP would basically be the next step in the worlds 'evolution' (i use the term loosely) I think it can only be a desired outcome when set against the future that PO and global warming etc offer. even if humans are obsoleted in the process it can only be a good thing in my view for life and intelligence to reach it's next step of evolution, rather than spinning out of control. refer to this link: http://yudkowsky.net/tmol-faq/tmol-faq.html which explains the 'meaning of life' to be for us to create our successors. it's a good argument and pretty accurately reflects why I hold OP to be the 'salvation' that could possibly usurp PO.
now, I know that all through history people have thought they were living in end times, because of that I always disregarded thoughts of anything happening in this time period, things seemed so stable etc, nuclear war was the threat I grew up under but I was never very concerned about the cold war. I reasoned that people wouldn't do anything that insane, and they didn't. of course now it has returned as a threat again and i'm not so sanguine this time, but I stray off point.
after finding out about OP and PO, I have of course thought about the ramifications of possibly being in the actual end times, and how I have been brought to this state of mind that is usually reserved for those with religious fervor, by logic and science.
before going further I need to mention that I view myself as 'agnostic', I hold organized religions in contempt, but am still open to the possibility that there either may be a god, or that we may shortly create one (or many).
my post in this thread: http://www.peakoil.com/fortopic17944-45.html expands on my views on religion.
so, at this point, I find myself facing the strong probability that I am in 'end times' despite being non-religious, and some of the more existential thoughts that I seemed to be constantly plagued with are taking on new dimensions for me.
I've always wondered about why i'm here, what the purpose is etc. always pondered on what the nature of reality is, why am I me?
I guess what I'm describing, is that feeling that everyone has, that you are 'special', somehow unique, as lewis black would say 'we are all snowflakes'. I've had this feeling a lot, previously I always discounted it as not rational, it's getting harder to justify that position though.
I read the threads concerning the myers-briggs test results for this forum yesterday. took it myself and came up INTP, and come to find out that most of the people that visit this forum (and yes arguably, most forums) fit a certain profile (introspective, intelligent, etc etc). that I am in this profile, and that collectively we only make up 1% of the population.
I think this new information is part of whats prompting this post, not only have I come to the conclusion that I am probably living in 'end times', but now I find out that it also seems that possibly I am in fact special in some way. there are threads that skirt this issue, 'why do we get it and others are in such denial' etc.
Additionaly, I find myself thinking of things in terms even most PO'ers aren't considering, since OP is not as widely accepted here as PO is, (though I know a few do, like Omnitir). because of that, I feel slightly estranged, even from this group.
I would be concerned about my sanity if it wasn't for the problem that this is all grounded in reason rather than paranioa or religious thinking etc. my lines of thinking have all the hallmarks of insanity, megalomania, thinking the rest of the world is crazy instead of me etc.
it would almost be easier if I were/am insane, but I don't think thats the case, as improbable as it should be it seems as if it is in fact the case that it's the rest of the world thats lost it's mind, and that I'm one of the few sane ones.
so.... wtf?




