[PhilBiker]

How do I cope? I'm going to a shrink tomorrow.

I'm slowly coming to the conclusion that the best thing to happen when things get really bad is to die early. Before the transition is nice, after the transition will probably be nice, too, if rustic, but the transition is going to be the tough part.

I've also started treating this kind of like havinga close relative with terminal cancer. You know she's going to die, not sure when, so you'd better enjoy the time you have now. I've taken a keen interest in doing things, spending time with loved ones, particularly those far away and only accessible via airplane, hosting parties and get-togethers, etc. I've also become more active in my community, never know when those networks may help.

[Barbara]

Yes girls, it's really frustrating.
The worst part is that hubby believes me: he knows I've read all this like a "scientist", I've made that interview to Bakhtiari and an important magazine published it, so I'm a sort of expert on the topic. He can't just say "it's wrong", but he also do exactly nothing to prepare.
Sometimes he says (no offence): "You're always talking to americans and are becoming a conspiracy nut. Sooner or later you'll search the car for microspies!"

Last week he said he wants to relocate in the center of the city. He simply ignores the question. I asked zillion times I want to find a house somewhere in the farmland, he says "ok darling" then comes out with the story of the center! Damn!

Ok, stop with marriage rants for now...

[jato]

My wife is on-line with PO. However, she doesn’t want to think about all of the problems ahead. She has left the worrying and preparations to me.

Our long-term plan is to make enough money and get out of California. Regardless of PO, I want to get out of this socialistic state. I want to buy a farm or somewhere self-sufficient. The question is... will I have enough time!?! (Rhetorical question.)

[Riddick]

All of my friends believe and we have decided to try to remain mobile as much as we can. A few of them have had military special forces training and the conclusion that we have come to is that if it gets really bad, the best course of action that we could take would be to be able to pick up and leave at a moment's notice.

Some of us have girlfriends but all of us have put off having kids for now. Should get pretty interesting in the next few years.

[Matrim]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('', 'M')y wife is on-line with PO. However, she doesn’t want to think about all of the problems ahead. She has left the worrying and preparations to me.

[CalgaryEng]

My wife grew up in the Soviet Union. She came to Canada from Ukarine just three years ago. Anyway, a few weeks ago when I told her that I was reading a lot about peak oil she told me that she knew all about it because she learned about it in grade school. I quizzed her a bit and indeed she knew all the basic stuff. It was all very anti-climactic.

Just about everyone else to whom I have spoken has never heard of the issue. Most are quite receptive since I tend to have friends who try not to live in some fantasy land. My mother has plans to build a solar house on her farm property. If you have the resources, I think now is the time to undertake such projects. I expect the costs of construction will rise dramatically in the next few years.

[larrydallas]

By that I do not mean this web page but the entire scoep of what is going on and the aftermath including the resource wars? I ask because I have never in my life met someone my age who knows about this very real concept. I've usually had to tell people I know but they still don't fully get it.

I bring this up because I recently got a call from my best friend in high school who married right after college. We kind of joke and I say he's all grown up and adut while I'm still eating fruity kids cereal for breakfast. Anyway, it kind of makes me wonder if it is better if your spouse knows, knows to some degree, or doe snot know at all.

If they know the danger is having a bad outlook on the future and being depressed all of the time. If they don't know they might say something like "Look at that Hummer....its' so cool" and you think to yourself "did I marry this person?". I'm guessing it's best if you on this board know more about it than the spouse just so you can't go nuts at either end.

[Barbara]

larry, there's a discussion going on here:
http://www.peakoil.com/fortopic2526.html

[jpatti]

My husband and I decided, before we married, to drop out of industrial society just cause we both individually hate it.

We've often said that we'll be prepared if the SHTF, but that was not our primary motivation. We just would rather raise vegetables and animals than work corporate jobs, drive in traffic, watch televisionand shop at malls - all of which are distasteful to us.

I've discussed PO with him briefly since running across it, basically summarizing what I'm learning. He finds it depressing and doesn't want to think about it much. But given our goals, his reluctance to discuss PO makes no difference whatsoever to our preparations.

[nailud]

My wife and I are in complete agreement on peak oil, as we are on most things. However, we're not planning to move to the country and learn how to farm. I am 56 and she is over 60. She has had 2 cancers and a heart attack in the last 10 years and doesn't want to be too far from medical care, and I fully agree with her. What good does it do to prepare for the next 20 years if you may not survive the next 5?

So we're buying a little gold, and we have no debt and have even paid off our house. No matter what happens in the future, we both consider ourselves very fortunate to have lived during the times that we have.

[Barbara]

My best wishes, nailud. My parents are in the same boat.

[nailud]

Thank you, Barbara. Have you discussed peak oil with your parents?

[gg3]

Jrob's approach is a good one: "how high does the price of gas have to go before you'll believe me?"

Phil, if you've already decided you're a dead man, another way to look at it is, you have complete freedom to change your circumstances now, because "risk" is irrelevant.

Moderators or someone: we seriously need a FAQ called "talking to your spouse or partner," which goes into details such as "don't open the discussion when you're upset or distraught; be calm and level-headed, point to the facts, ask questions..." etc. And this FAQ should be a highly visible link in an obvious place near the top of the page.

As for me, unlike whoever-it-was on the first page who doesn't want to risk losing "sack time" by raising a disturbing issue.... For me, awareness of core sustainability issues is one of the prerequisites for a relationship. I'm gay, single, and looking forward to eventually finding Mr. Wonderful and making a nice, monogamous, down-to-earth-and-pretty-square life for ourselves. (Speaking of "square," I'm one of those who prefers celibacy to promiscuity, and finds the "frat-boy attitude" stereotype to be downright offensive.) I don't even think I could fall in love with someone who was oblivious/resistant to ecological & resource issues, or whose lifestyle was high-consumption.

For me the mind-to-mind hookup comes first, the heart-to-heart hookup comes next, and the sexy-stuff happens only if the first two say Yes. So the sustainability discussion including PO, will have come up long before I'm willing to get emotionally open with someone. Frankly that's a self-protect mechanism, to minimize the risk of going through the roller-coaster of feeling that there's potential with someone, and then later finding that there's a fundamental incompatiblity.

This morning I talked with my brother about PO. Now he's definitely a neo-con, but he's at least aware and open-minded about the issue. He read the National Geographic article, after all. But the biggest issue on his mind right now, is how he's going to put his kids through college: despite the fact that he's wealthy by any conventional measure, the cost of college will be astronomical 12 - 15 years from now even if the system doesn't collapse. I would have to guess most people have a similar attitude, which is that they see their own crises ahead and can't quite grasp that there's a bigger one looming in the background that's going to kick all of our butts.

[smiley]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('', 'A')s for me, unlike whoever-it-was on the first page who doesn't want to risk losing "sack time" by raising a disturbing issue.... For me, awareness of core sustainability issues is one of the prerequisites for a relationship.

[Aaron]

If you folks compile such an FAQ, I'll publish it...

[smiley]

I like that idea. I wouldn't mind writing something like that. I have a lot of spare time the next two weeks and I am and experienced writer. Of course I would need some help with the English since I'm not a native English speaker (As you probably have noticed).

But I think this should be a text we all agree on. It has to be a combined effort and we have to find a way to structure this process.

Perhaps I can write a draft FAQ, post it as a separate tread, and let others comment on it.

PS Specop: I promise not to talk about guns

[Mower]

$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('Aaron', 'I')f you folks compile such an FAQ, I'll publish it...

[seb]

cool, my post will lead to a new FAQ

and I really need this FAQ to help me a bit.

[Falconoffury]

I don't have a spouse, but it puzzles me to hear people saying that their plans for their future lives haven't changed at all after learning about peak oil.

[Mower]

Well you have to decide (1) If you want yourself or your children to survive PO and then (2) If you can survive PO and (3) Who to tell because that person may end up hating you for ruining their life.

...and really, what can most us do except pray?