by KathyMcMahon » Thu 01 Sep 2011, 00:02:02
@BenjaminTheDonkey - That was a lovely poem. I do thank you for writing it to me.
@Pops - That was such a great song. So true as well. Thanks for sharing it.
@mmasters - $this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('', 'm')y saving grace was a good support system, which not many people have and I took it for granted, I don't anymore.
That's what a lot of people are going to realize. They had it better yesterday in many ways, than they do today, which makes today, like tomorrow, only better. We have to learn to get along with each other. The fat and the blow-hards. We have to learn to hold our tongues. We'll have to learn how to appreciate what we do have, and make do. If you have a good support system, you've got the globe. It's what it is all about, mmaster, IMHO.
@Slorisb - Remind me to keep on your good side...
@MD Cynical but protective. I can see your big heart from here. (pure projection on my part, I admit) And you are right. My butt should not be the topic, broad a topic as it may be...
@Sixstrings - You are asking an important set of questions that I've struggled with over the years. I think the anticipation is worse than actually going through it in some ways. Our family went from thriving with a successful business with savings and retirement to losing the business and almost losing the house. I write about it on the blog so I won't repeat it here. And while I've had a considerable amount of money at points in my life, and I agree that it is a lot easier to have plenty of money than not to have it, learning to live with very little money is also a skill a person can develop. Fearing the continued crash is not helpful.
You can't live against your convictions, either. That eats away at you. You have to take yourself and your convictions, whatever they may be, "heart attack serious." If not, if you don't, then each time another nail is placed in your coffin- by something you
knew was going to happen- and you did nothing to prevent it, even though you
could have, it will drive you bats**t crazy (the real bad clinical kind, too).
You have to lay out the grid and do your own calculations. (1) You make change and nothing happens. If you made changes that you believe in anyway, you win. (2) If you make changes, bad things happen, and they are protective changes or make the downturn easier for you, you win. (3) If you don't make changes and nothing happens, well, see, you were right to do nothing. (4) You don't make changes, and bad things happen, oh oh. Figure your risks. Like fire insurance. Only more likely, because it's already getting mighty warm around here.
I try to take some lessons from the past. As this most recent depression started heating up in 2008, a study I read spoke about people getting really upset, but after a while, they adjusted: less money in stocks, bad housing market, poor or no jobs. The transition is bad, but people adjust to it. It is a grinding adjustment, but it "beats the transition period" as they report. They stabilized to a lower standard of living. Remember when $4. gas was intolerable? Now it is the norm. Think "reframing:" taking a bad situation and putting a positive spin on it. It is what families
do when they can't do anything else.
It's hardest on the middle-class, because they are often reluctant to go for the social programs (for as long as they last) that are out there, because they have a mindset that says they still have money, even when they don't. They have no practice being poor, and unlike the working class, they have no practice at doing manual work (fixing the car, repairing the house) to save money. The middle class hate to "deprive" their kids. They'll do whatever they can to pay the big bucks to get into the good neighborhoods with the "good" schools. And they are exhausting themselves trying to do it. When they move to the "poorer" neighborhoods, they'll learn what middle class people did in the Depression in the '30's:
"These people aren't so bad".
Don't try "not" to think about anything. It doesn't work. But you can take a "news break," and I encourage people to do that. Watch movies from the 1930's. All glitter and escapism. Read Doomer novels. It is a great relaxation for a lot of people, to read how the hero makes it through. But the most important thing you can do is to "do something" with other people in your neighborhood. Forget "Doom." Do a "Flamingo Friday."
http://www.peakoilblues.org/blog/?p=14 Get together, play music with them, have them over for dinner. Bring them over cookies during the holidays. Find SOMETHING in common with them. Unless you are moving soon, you are going to need them, increasingly, as things get worse and worse.
Also, don't expect people to agree with you, that you were right "back then." Are they saying you were right today? Most people don't. They say "You didn't say THAT, you said it would be a lot worse, and it isn't." Save it. It won't help to say "I told you so." It just makes you a know-it-all and people don't like know-it-alls.
$this->bbcode_second_pass_quote('', 'I')'m a stubborn conformist at heart,
I get that. You think it was easy for any one of us to step out of our "safe" roles and call it like we see it? You don't think I feared (and fear) social isolation? Having people say "You don't know what you're talking about, you're fat!" and similar ad hominem attacks like that? You might want to save the "doom" rap unless it is too late and others have already labeled you that way, and it doesn't seem like they have. Then you make a joke of it, in a good humored way. My boss says "I don't care about Polar Bears, I care about children" and I say "Children need to live somewhere, and a planet is a handy thing to have." I don't push it, but I don't hide, either. And I'm noticing that I have more and more people coming up to me, at work, and they say "My husband knows about Peak Oil, he wanted me to tell you. He gets it."
But I know a lot of psychologists think I'm a nut. It is a "Goldilocks" problem: everyone knows it's bad, but how bad? If you come into my version of the future, you might find the story "too grim" or "too optimistic."
And about predictions: It's what Philip Tetlock says about the Foxes and the Hedgehogs. Foxes make grand predictions and everyone applauds, and when they don't come true, the audience forgets all about them or are called "spoiled sports" for bringing up another's failures. When the Hedgehogs, who are much more likely to be right, make predictions , no one listens because it is a "30% chance of this" and a "20% chance of that." (although both have the predictive power of "Dart-throwing chimps" according to Tetlock) How is that interesting?
Doom sells, and more Doom sells more.
So I won't keep going on, but you have to have people who you can talk to seriously about these things, and not just on the internet. You have to have someone you trust to share real feelings with, to say "I'm scared for my future and my family's future" then you gutta take some action. Not to take action makes people sick, leaves them with too much anxiety and depression. I don't care what the "topic" is, whether it is kids knocking down mailboxes, or a highway they are planning through town, you have to care. You have to put your foot down and say "this is my patch of land, and I can't see it going to hell any longer."
@Sixstrings: And no, I didn't take what you wrote as an attack. I took is as an invitation to discussion.
Sorry for the length of this. I'll try to keep them shorter next time.
That's my sloppy thinking on the matter anyway. (@ Expatriate:
I hope we're back on topic.